As women, wives and mothers, sometimes it's seemingly easy to gain resentment of your other (but not always better) half. They get more sleep than you, they get more free time out with friends than you, they have less stress at their OUT OF HOME job than you, and for crying out loud they can sit in the bathroom for 10 minutes BY THEMSELVES if they choose to do so. Their brains aren't compiled with 8,437 post-it notes that keep them up at night worried about what color you're going to paint the bedroom, or a reminder to call Pat the insurance guy to re-run your expiring policy. Not a worry in the world if the house has a single grocery in it as they'd just prefer carry-out anyways! Life is just easier for them. Period.
As a disclaimer, I love my husband (who will be reading this) dearly and greatly appreciate all he does and brings to our family. Without him, our lives would not only be incomplete, but filled with a lot less laughter, love and comfort.
Now, let me just say that I can't remember the last time I even showered by myself, let alone got an extra 10 minutes of time in the morning to stare at the inside of my eyelids. What kind of bullshit is that?!?!
In the early days of our relationship, even before we had kids, I found myself increasingly agitated at what seemed to fall onto my plate while his was seemingly clean. On the weekends, he'd sleep in, throw back a few brewsky's, watch some golf and call it a day as he "mentally prepared" for the week ahead. REALLY!?! What the hell do you need to mentally prepare for? How you're going to lift your fork up to your mouth eating the breakfast, lunch and dinner that I prepare for you? Give me a break. I can sit back and reflect on those days with humor now because...well...you know that expression that "it could always be worse"? Yep, it definitely can.
WE. NOW. HAVE. KIDS.
One of the first things my sister told me when I got pregnant was "Oh boy -- bring on the resentments". At that time I chuckled. Little did I know that fast forward 10 months, I would be dreaming of bashing his soundly snoring head in while feeding my one-month old newborn at 2:30 am. The same time at which just a year ago I'd be closing down a local bar! Again, total bullshit.
I will resist the urge to share my bullet-pointed mental list in an effort to get to the main point here.
Years ago, and I'm talking like 15+, I remember my maternal grandmother sharing a story with me about when she was in her early twenties being "courted" by my grandfather. She then shared with me advice that her mother, my great-grandmother, shared with her and as I reflect, I wish more than ever I had listened to her.
"Kristin, if you act like you don't know what you're doing, they will have a "better" way to do it and it'll get done." Think about that for a second.
What she was trying to tell me is that it's okay to act like we may not know how to do something in order for it to fall off of our plate and onto theirs. How many of you know men that won't stop for directions? Won't stop and fill up their gas tank because "they can make it"? Don't call the expert because "they know what they're doing" when fixing the air-conditioner? Most men are stubborn and think they know how to do everything better than someone else anyways, this we already know. If we are just smart enough to capitalize on this, we'd be just fine.
My grandfather told me for years that he had to teach my grandma how to cook when they started dating and after quite a few years, she became good at it. This came from him, word for word. Now, I had never seen my grandpa toast a piece of bread, let alone cook a meal, so this was shocking! The day my grandma shared this advice with me, it all began to make sense. She knew all along how to cook, for crying out loud she watched her mother kill chickens off the farm for dinner! She however, was just smart enough to manipulate my grandpa into helping her do it while making him feel like he was the one teaching her. GENIUS.
My overall point is that sometimes we are our own worst enemy and that we ultimately teach people how to treat us. If we do everything, others will expect everything. If we know nothing, well, they expect jack shit.
As a strong-willed and sometimes controlling woman, I will admit that I typically think my way is the better way. It just is. However, that doesn't mean that I'd turn away a badly folded load of laundry or a half ass cooked meal of spaghetti!
Do you think it's too late to undo the damage I've already done and screw up some laundry? Now... where's that bottle of bleach?
As a disclaimer, I love my husband (who will be reading this) dearly and greatly appreciate all he does and brings to our family. Without him, our lives would not only be incomplete, but filled with a lot less laughter, love and comfort.
Now, let me just say that I can't remember the last time I even showered by myself, let alone got an extra 10 minutes of time in the morning to stare at the inside of my eyelids. What kind of bullshit is that?!?!
In the early days of our relationship, even before we had kids, I found myself increasingly agitated at what seemed to fall onto my plate while his was seemingly clean. On the weekends, he'd sleep in, throw back a few brewsky's, watch some golf and call it a day as he "mentally prepared" for the week ahead. REALLY!?! What the hell do you need to mentally prepare for? How you're going to lift your fork up to your mouth eating the breakfast, lunch and dinner that I prepare for you? Give me a break. I can sit back and reflect on those days with humor now because...well...you know that expression that "it could always be worse"? Yep, it definitely can.
WE. NOW. HAVE. KIDS.
One of the first things my sister told me when I got pregnant was "Oh boy -- bring on the resentments". At that time I chuckled. Little did I know that fast forward 10 months, I would be dreaming of bashing his soundly snoring head in while feeding my one-month old newborn at 2:30 am. The same time at which just a year ago I'd be closing down a local bar! Again, total bullshit.
I will resist the urge to share my bullet-pointed mental list in an effort to get to the main point here.
Years ago, and I'm talking like 15+, I remember my maternal grandmother sharing a story with me about when she was in her early twenties being "courted" by my grandfather. She then shared with me advice that her mother, my great-grandmother, shared with her and as I reflect, I wish more than ever I had listened to her.
"Kristin, if you act like you don't know what you're doing, they will have a "better" way to do it and it'll get done." Think about that for a second.
What she was trying to tell me is that it's okay to act like we may not know how to do something in order for it to fall off of our plate and onto theirs. How many of you know men that won't stop for directions? Won't stop and fill up their gas tank because "they can make it"? Don't call the expert because "they know what they're doing" when fixing the air-conditioner? Most men are stubborn and think they know how to do everything better than someone else anyways, this we already know. If we are just smart enough to capitalize on this, we'd be just fine.
My grandfather told me for years that he had to teach my grandma how to cook when they started dating and after quite a few years, she became good at it. This came from him, word for word. Now, I had never seen my grandpa toast a piece of bread, let alone cook a meal, so this was shocking! The day my grandma shared this advice with me, it all began to make sense. She knew all along how to cook, for crying out loud she watched her mother kill chickens off the farm for dinner! She however, was just smart enough to manipulate my grandpa into helping her do it while making him feel like he was the one teaching her. GENIUS.
My overall point is that sometimes we are our own worst enemy and that we ultimately teach people how to treat us. If we do everything, others will expect everything. If we know nothing, well, they expect jack shit.
As a strong-willed and sometimes controlling woman, I will admit that I typically think my way is the better way. It just is. However, that doesn't mean that I'd turn away a badly folded load of laundry or a half ass cooked meal of spaghetti!
Do you think it's too late to undo the damage I've already done and screw up some laundry? Now... where's that bottle of bleach?
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