On a side note -- every freakin' time I get to this computer to start writing a post one of my kids is crying. SERIOUSLY?!
Anyhow, since "catching up on things" (notice the smart-ass quotations) is about as easy as creating world peace, I've learned my to-do list in 2018 will still contain items from August 7th 2010 -- the day after my first child was born. Motherhood has caused me to become a lot more creative in trying to achieve the smallest of small victories. See, my husband doesn't consider my very real work from home job very real at all. Many days I'm left to "figure it out" (as he says) and wonder how I haven't hung myself from the ceiling fan.
As we speak and I'm writing this post he's in the other room yelling for our daughter to bring him a diaper and wipes to change her nasty diaper while she is in here with me drawing on the wall with her cherry chapstick that I'm actively ignoring to enjoy my few moments "alone". My four month month old is losing his lunch all over him now. I'm secretly loving this. Okay, not secretly. I'M LOVING THIS! He's now yelling to me to come and help to which my response is "figure it out" as this is Mommy's dedicated hour of the day that we've recently come to terms on. We'll see how long this lasts...
Okay, I digress... Point is that in order for me to get my work done, I need something just short of a miracle to happen. My solution, the fuck it button. You know, like the easy button the dopes at Staples created? On another side note, nothing is ever that easy at Staples -- if that's what they are trying to convince you of, they failed miserably. In my perfect world, the fuck it button will stop all life and movement around me -- you know like Evie from "Out Of This World". Considering that will never happen, my fuck it button will exist solely for me to feel better about my lack of ability to complete a task.
Oh great -- the skinny bitch from next door just ran by my window after completing her leisurely morning jog. Seriously?!?!