1) Emails home from PRE-school.
This isn't college, folks. It's f'ing preschool. Can't you just tell me face to face that the little shit with Hand, Foot, Mouth ran a muck with my daughter today at school. I know you're following some BS protocol in sending me the link to the CDC on how to "monitor" it should my daughter catch it, but come on. Like I don't have enough to squeeze into my day already -- now we get to add that lovely anxiety-ridden worry!
If you're gonna send me an email, make it worth my while and send along the name of the a-hole parent that sent that kid to school!
2) Car Carts at Kroger.
You know, these ones? Who the F invented these germ infested mobiles? Clearly not a parent!! And you had to make them bright red, green and yellow didn't you? Now my kids have a meltdown before we even enter the store for what is sure to be the best grocery shopping experience EVER. "Hold on guys, let Mommy grab 87 anti-bacterial wipes to wipe the scabies from the cart first before you hop on in. I know you'll make it 2 minutes before pushing your brother out mid-aisle anyhow, this is sure to be worth it."
Oh, and good luck navigating these f'ers? Ha, good luck!
All of your made from scratch recipes, DIY projects that you proclaim to be easy, hand crafted artwork, blah blah blah. These boards should more aptly be titled "How to Make My Mom Feel Even More Like a Loser".
Unless it's a pin on how to effectively treat and "monitor" Hand, Foot, Mouth. Cause then I may need it.
Be well, my friends!