Excuse me for a moment...
ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME?!?!
ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME?!?!
My husband comes home and announces this to me today after being rather shady for the last few days hinting around at a surprise for me.
I think the keywords in this sentence that do not apply are... FOR and ME.
As I'm kindly about to inform him, a surprise for me would be coming home from work, shoo-ing me out the door saying "I booked your hair appointment you've been waiting on for weeks, go enjoy yourself." Or... "Happy belated birthday, honey. I finally found the time to stop by the mall and pick up the purse you've been talking about for months." I've been asking to go to a Detroit Tigers game all year long, and since he's only had six months to plan one, I would have even agreed to go out in this miserable 40 degree weather and sit through an entire Tigers game this week. Even if that miraculously happened, he'd forget the most important detail which is -- who is going to watch our daughter?!?! A slight detail that never seems to cross a mans mind as he's planning big surprises --- FOR YOU.
NEWS FLASH TO ALL THOSE PAYING ATTENTION: I am seven months pregnant and have zero desire to go sit in a stadium with 110,000+ drunk people, while sober, in sub-zero temperatures. Although my midwife told me (today) that I should entertain the thought of more exercise to relieve the pressure, I was thinking more along the lines of Pilates and not hiking up the 164 stairs to get in and out of my seat at the Big House.
Word of advice to all you men out there, get your shit straight. Realize that your wife/woman/girlfriend/baby-mama, etc... doesn't want a surprise, or any gift for that matter, that directly benefits you.
To my dear husband,
I will forgive this momentary lapse in judgement and pretend this conversation never happened. Now return YOUR tickets and report to the mall.
-Your lovely and patient wife.
I think the keywords in this sentence that do not apply are... FOR and ME.
As I'm kindly about to inform him, a surprise for me would be coming home from work, shoo-ing me out the door saying "I booked your hair appointment you've been waiting on for weeks, go enjoy yourself." Or... "Happy belated birthday, honey. I finally found the time to stop by the mall and pick up the purse you've been talking about for months." I've been asking to go to a Detroit Tigers game all year long, and since he's only had six months to plan one, I would have even agreed to go out in this miserable 40 degree weather and sit through an entire Tigers game this week. Even if that miraculously happened, he'd forget the most important detail which is -- who is going to watch our daughter?!?! A slight detail that never seems to cross a mans mind as he's planning big surprises --- FOR YOU.
NEWS FLASH TO ALL THOSE PAYING ATTENTION: I am seven months pregnant and have zero desire to go sit in a stadium with 110,000+ drunk people, while sober, in sub-zero temperatures. Although my midwife told me (today) that I should entertain the thought of more exercise to relieve the pressure, I was thinking more along the lines of Pilates and not hiking up the 164 stairs to get in and out of my seat at the Big House.
Word of advice to all you men out there, get your shit straight. Realize that your wife/woman/girlfriend/baby-mama, etc... doesn't want a surprise, or any gift for that matter, that directly benefits you.
To my dear husband,
I will forgive this momentary lapse in judgement and pretend this conversation never happened. Now return YOUR tickets and report to the mall.
-Your lovely and patient wife.
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